Back At It

So I am back at it after a trying summer filled with croissant sandwiches, cookies, snacks, cupcakes and so many other delicious treats! Payback, however, is nothing nice as I am now battling the 9 pound influx around my mid section. Not to be discouraged because I have recommitted myself to the morning workout and the careful counting of points in order to get back to my "happy place!"

There are many lessons learned this summer - some great, some challenging and some that have definitely made me "check myself." Although I hate to admit defeat, I was probably a little bit too confident in my ability to cheat the scale. Disappointed is how I feel most days that I would have allowed myself to indulge in all things sugar and full fat but after a year and a half of constantly being in the zone, 9 pounds is certainly better than 65 pounds. You win some and you lose some and today I am considering myself a winner because I am not starting from that place; rather, I am setting a new goal and challenging myself to surpass that goal. After all, I am much better with a goal!

It's been a while.....to say the least!

So I know it's been a while but life happens and lessons are certainly learned along the way. When I accepted my new position I knew that there were challenges ahead; however, I did not know that I would have to encounter them so soon! Needless to say, the hardest thing to overcome sometimes is having to hear that you need to change something that has worked for you in the past to make it work in a totally new situation and environment. Why fix the wheel if it ain't broken? We'll just call last week my "mid flight adjustment" and file it in the "still learning" folder!





I will say that life experiences, whether they are your own or someone else's definitely makes you re-evaluate and gain new perspective. Sometimes there are no good words to offer and sometimes you just need to figure out what role you need to play in someone's life. Regardless, you tend to find out who your real friends are in the midst of turmoil.





July has officially made it's prescence known and I can hardly believe that we are IN JULY!!!! The holiday weekend was lots of fun. We spent time with family and friends and enjoyed all of our time together. Although I was a bit bummed that I wasn't home visiting, having the friends and family that I have here makes times like this so much more fun and takes the edge off of the homesickness.





Crystal came over on Friday night and she successfully re-created the white chocolate pretzel pancake!!!! I can't lie....it was amazingly good! I think she was a chef in her former life!

I give you permission to imagine how good this tastes because I promise it tastes just as good as it looks! YUM!!!! Yay for Crystal! ;o)

Out the Norm!

2 posts in one day!!! I got some catchin up to do! So, one day last week it was finally above 60 degrees - my car was spawning stuff on the inside and I couldn't take one more day of it! What's a girl to do when her car is a moving trash can? Well, you take matters into your own hands of course! Hence a trip to the Dollar Store to purchase a bucket, sponges and some other essential car cleaning materials all while on the way home from school. It turned out to be one of the best evenings we've had yet! Who knew putting on bathing suits to wash mom's car would be so much fun?

JUST BE!

Sometimes it's hard to "just be" and to let life "just happen." Easier said than done but after a great mother's day weekend and some much needed family time I can see how this can actually be a reality.

Friday I came home to my mother's day gift: a gift card to Run On for new running shoes, a big ole bottle of Barefoot Moscato (I know, not the best for those wine connoisseurs out there but good enough for me!), a sweet card that was written and not bought and Sprinkles! And yet, I was slightly annoyed b/c.....well, it wasn't MOTHER'S DAY!!! My husband, over the years has decided that he is impatient and cannot wait for the actual "holiday." This is kind of funny though b/c in the past it was the other way around. I am not quite sure what that says about us as people. Maybe he's becoming who I used to be and I am becoming who he used to be. Anyway, I normally would have said something about this but really who I got great stuff that I wanted and he was excited to give them to me so it doesn't really matter when it happened.

Saturday I had a long run with my friend Theresa and we always have lively conversations about random things. Her question to me was: are we doing 7 or are we doing 9 b/c you have to run a 1/2 not me! (keep in mind that she has already run 3 1/2 marathons this year alone and it is only May) My reply was 7 but when we got to 3.5 I knew that I didn't want to run the same path we had just run so it changed to 9. Ultimately when I am running I start out pretty conservative and doubting my ability to really complete the challenge that's ahead. I mean, when you stand back and look at that big lake, you really just want to stand and look at it and not run around it but after I am done, I usually feel much better about the day and my accomplishment. I returned home to get ready for a birthday party and it was great b/c we all went to the party and although we have to talk around kids, over kids and translate conversations, I was able to spend time w/my favorite people. We came home to prepare to have folks over for a small cookout. I would love to say that we were ready and prepared to have people over but if you know anything about me and my husband.....we try....we really do try! Needless to say, I spent 30 minutes assembling a small pitt for my husband who replied when I expressed frustration: "we are doing this together as a team." I could only smile b/c although I asked him to buy the pitt 4 days earlier, he was right. We were spending time together, creating memories in our backyard and working as a team. Everything turned out fine and it was another reminder of how much we are enjoying our new life in house with our own 4 walls!

Sunday was very special. My dear friend Rani came over to watch the children while Shannon and I enjoyed breakfast out and we actually went to church! I opened Mother's Day gifts from Dylan and Camille. Gifts they made at school! It was really special. They were 2 framed pictures and a card from Dylan that said, "I love you mom!" It was super sweet and what was even sweeter was that there was no crying, fussing or falling out before we left; just a simple bye mom and dad! (They love Rani!) The rest of the afternoon was great b/c I got some "girl time" in and Camille and I ran some errands! She has been extra sweet lately giving out free kisses and hugs.....not sure what that was about but I'll take them while I can.

So, this weekend, in short, we just let life happen and didn't really stress about the small things. It was relaxing and fun and everything I had imagined being in a house would be like. There's so much to look forward to and so much to appreciate in the small things. It's great to "just be" in the here and now and to enjoy it!

Another Month Bites the Dust....

WOW!!! Can you believe that we are already done w/April and moving into May? Sometimes I wonder where the time goes. This week was a great week for me to catch up on work and to start thinking about the month of May and everything that May will bring with it. For starters, the end of what seemed like a long academic year! I am so happy for the Seniors that are graduating but extremely excited for the summer and the new crop of students starting in the fall. So far 2010 has been great for a number of reasons and I am just excited to embark upon a new journey this summer.

As usual, I was reading my daily meditations and came across one that I thought to be quite relevant to my life at the moment. It stated that "The greater the value of what you want, the greater sacrifice you will have to make." When I think about making sacrifices, I tend to always think about the outcome but I also try to think about who the sacrifice is ultimately affecting and when the sacrifice seeps over into someone else's territory I am less likely to travel down that road. For example, my moving into management class was discussing the Doctorate degree and most people who know me well, know that I would like to pursue my doctorate. However, I feel like pursuing the doctorate would be a huge sacrifice and one that would not only affect me but my family and the more that I think about it, the more I know that this would not be the time to do it. When we decided to be parents, we decided to no longer be the selfish people that we were as a couple. Decisions are never made without considering how they will ultimately affect the children and in this particular case, the spouse. So for now, I have assigned that "to do" a new number. No longer is it a "priority" b/c at some point I have to be content with what I've got

because what I've got is pretty good.

Here's to a Better Week!!!

I am most thankful this week that the crazy Karma that was with me all last week has decided to find someone else to bug! This week was much better and I have to say that a series of "things" happended - kernels of revelations - for lack of a better explanation. I've broken it down below and for those of you who know me best, you know this is how my brain thinks....

Kids: As far as the kiddos are concerned, this was a much better week with our new "sleep routine" in place. Last night we actually got people in bed BEFORE 9 pm! Now that's not saying that everyone was asleep but 1 out of 2 is a pretty good ratio for us! Although I still felt that tug at my heart after the first born got out of bed with his 6th sob story of the night, I held strong and marched him right back to his room and into his bed each time. Every time I reassured him that he would be fine and eventually he got tired of making shadow shapes on the wall! Camille was another story and her sob story reads more on her little face and the way that she says "mommy" that gets me everytime. Those sweet little hands that are clinging for dear life as her daddy carries her into the room to face the darkness and what is, in my opinion, some good sleep! Bottom line is that the "lunch bunch" was right - "those children need to go to bed earlier!" Generally speaking, when people give you advice that you know is right, you do your best to listen. I'm a big girl and I know when I need to listen!

Husband:

We love each other and no one says that marriage is easy - especially after 8 years! We are constantly faced with challenges but we are determined to talk it out and to become good communicators. I think we've realized in the past 5 years that it's easy to forget that at one time you were friends. There was a time when we laughed at silly things, talked about things that did not pertain to children, household chores and work and were spontaneous. I think that when things happen that force you to remember those times, you do one of two things: you continue on the same roller coaster until one person decides to get off or you decide to pick a new amusement park. I think we are going to visit a new amusement park and try out a few new rides starting with the way that we communicate with each other. I'm excited about the journey.

Weight:

"Even at my leanest and fittest I was always a large girl that was working really, really hard not to be." I read this statement in a daily weight loss reflection email that I receive and boy did that hit close to home. I am at my leanest and fittest and I still see myself as a large girl working hard not to be.....where's the enjoyment of the accomplishment of losing 65.6 pounds if I am afraid to embrace the person that I have become and was meant to be? So I've decided that whatever the number on my scale I will deal with it - myself! No one else needs to be a part of my own craziness and I need to stop being my own worst enemy. I have the tools that I need to be successful and to remain the person that I am today and it is up to me and only me to continue to live a healthy life.

Work:

"Learning new things sparks the fear of doing it wrong and being judged by our peers." (daily meditation email - do you get the theme here? Obviously, I am getting therapy via email! HA!) I am more than sure that everyone goes through something like this when they start a new job. I've always set high expectations for myself and today is no different than yesterday! However, being judged by my peers has never been something that I've dwelled on in previous jobs. I could kinda care less and maybe it's because the work that I did (before SMU) wasn't as meaningful to me as what I do now. I love my job, the work that I do, the people that I work with and the institution itself. I am challenging myself on a daily basis to not be afraid of doing something wrong but to be confident and smart in the decisions that I am making. I was afforded this opportunity because someone was confident in me and my ability to do this job right. So what if I mess up a few things along the way. I'm smart enough to fix it - right? ;o)

There you have it! Oh....did I mention that my wonderful friend Crystal (BFF!!!! we are so high school!) is returning to Dallas? Let the countdown begin! It couldn't have been a better week! ;o)

What really matters...

So today trumps the beginning of the week in one instance - the fender bender! On my way to lunch to meet up with an old friend, I found myself exchanging information with an older gentleman with the last name "Fortune." Unfortunately for him it was not good fortune that found its way into his life but my bad karma that has been following me throughout the week. I wish I could pinpoint exactly when I knew that this week would be a series of unexplainable events but I can't. I'd love to blame it on the missed workouts which then caused me to be off my game for the early part in the week but honestly, I don't really think that's it. Maybe it's just that this week was a week of lessons that I needed to put into practice. For starters, not being in control of my own situation and having to alter my plans right before they were about to happen (gym), feeling really overwhelmed and somewhat inadequate at work (no particular reason, just think it's a learning curve really), screwing up some communication through email and topping it off by rear ending the nicest gentleman you could ever imagine. I guess if one of my children had called me with all of this "drama" I would simply ask them what did you learn from each experience and what can you do differently next time? I know that I probably let most of these situations get the best of me but my response to the climatic events that led to today surprised even myself. For the most part, I was pretty calm about it all - I had my"moments" but I did pretty good in the "just let it go" category. I didn't dwell on them for the long periods of time that I normally hold on to stuff. I kind of just threw my hands up and said "oh well." I mean, what is meant to be will be and although I had some control over each situation, I believe that I did the best that I could in each one. I worked out really hard when I did go to the gym. I vented my frustration about my feelings of stress related to work and continued on with the current project. I asked for help and I prayed with a stranger on the side of Lover's Lane because it was the right thing to do and just what I needed at the time.

It is now 9:21 pm. I am reflecting about my week on this blog. My children are bathed and currently "reading" all the books that they took off of the shelf (about 25 or so...). Dylan is being nice to his sister for a change and Camille is saying "awesome Dylan" and strategically placing stickers on my arm. It's a rare moment and although I secretly wish they were asleep, there is something comforting in the fact that they know nothing about my bad karma this week. They just know that mom woke them up, dressed them, fed them, drove them to school, picked them up from school, gave them baths, kissed them and loved them. The other stuff kinda doesn't matter.